Listening Inward: My Journey to Becoming a Coach

My love and passion for personal development coaching revealed itself to me in many different ways throughout my life. There’s a blend of both personal and professional reasons behind this path I chose.

In my personal life, I’ve had to overcome many hardships and challenges throughout my young adult and adult years. One way I was able to move forward—to reach my goals and choose growth rather than remain stuck—was through my own belief in myself, in what I was doing, and in what I could create. I’ve always had a strong internal coach voice pushing me forward, reminding me to breathe, to reconnect with who I really am, to question the harsh voices in my head, and to understand where they were coming from. I’m an eternal optimist because we all get the immeasurably profound opportunity to make choices each day—loads of them.

Years ago, I was speaking with someone close to me and lamented that my ability to be a supportive listening ear for those in my circle was beginning to feel burdensome. It was affecting the natural reciprocity that exists in healthy, two-way relationships. Deep down, I knew this, but this person challenged me to consider what it might look like to integrate my natural gifts for listening, supporting, and challenging others to consider new perspectives—into my life in a way that felt intentional and true. That conversation was a pivotal moment for me— a moment when I chose to shake hands with my natural gifts, relinquish control, and see where they could take me.

That also happens to be what I hope to facilitate for my clients: to empower them to connect with their inner voice, examine it, question whether and how it serves them, explore the paths that are begging for attention, and move through life in a way that aligns more closely with their authenticity.

When I coach, I want my clients to feel safe enough to explore and question their inner voices and experiences—to get to the truth of their hearts.

In my professional life, I spent many years as a busy and burnt-out workaholic—not so much by choice, but more as a means of survival. Even then, I was never willing to sacrifice my values. They were my compass. They guided me to where I needed to be and away from places and people that didn’t support my growth.

Throughout my career, my compass remained my values, and my purpose was understanding others—their needs, desires, pain points, and, more importantly, how they interpreted the world and their place in it. In consulting, I was meant to have the answers, and that fit the role. Yet, in training and facilitation, I often felt there was something deeper calling to be explored—emotions, dynamics, expectations, limitations.

All the more, I’m constantly reminded of how much feedback we receive each day. We’re told to learn how to influence others more effectively—to speak up, then to shrink when we’re “too much.” We’re told we’re not open enough, not engaged enough, or that we’re too rigid. We start to feel like we’re not doing enough, not being enough, or that we should alter ourselves somehow—but we’re not sure how, or even why. How are we meant to absorb all of this and still make sense of where we fit in the world, in a way that feels like a deep breath rather than like holding it all in?

I was fortunate to have mentors who encouraged me to explore coaching. They saw my natural gifts—and if it weren’t for that earlier lesson about following them, I might not have listened. I had been saying no to that voice for some time, and it was starting to make me itch. Eventually, I chose to do whatever it took to pursue coaching, and today I feel deeply grateful to have found what I was meant for so early in life.

So, how is it different from the relational dynamic I once lamented over?

For starters, I now have training, years of real experience with clients and groups, and a clear structure. I’m sought out when clients need me, and the coaching relationship is a partnership. The reciprocity doesn’t come from me sharing my own stories, perspectives, or opinions, but rather from providing a space for clients to explore, be themselves, and feel supported. I offer presence, and in return, clients offer their commitment—to themselves, to the process, and to using the space we co-create to explore their inner workings so they can grow into a more connected version of themselves.

Blue Ridge Parkway I Asheville, NC